So here I am. Back home. It's warm, it's sticky, and I'm done with it. Having to be home and watch my dad wander around the house looking ill. He's so thin and so tired. It's too hard for me. Work starts tomorrow. At least work will get me out of the house. I will refrain from complaining about my job via internet because I don't want to lose it.
So now what? I'm home and school is over until August and I've got to figure out how to live thousands of miles away from my friends. This is always the hardest time of year. I always want to be anywhere but here. Of course, this is the only option I've got. Just need to keep thinking to myself I'm only here for a month. Only one month and then off to England.
But here I am, in the middle of nowhere, waiting for my trip to England to arrive. Meanwhile I miss my boyfriend, I miss my girlfriends, I miss my S. (I don't even know what else to call him at this point), I miss New York and the people I can tell all my secrets to. Because that's been the most upsetting thing since I've been back. I'm bursting with secrets and there's no one to tell them to. I want to burst with everything I've done at school, with how fabulous and conflicted and confused and wonderful I feel. So who wants to know what I'm about to explode with?
I want to be in the world, not out here in the middle of nowhere. There's so much out there and so little here. I'm bored and lonely and it's only been a few days. Goddess please let the summer go by quickly. If it doesn't I think I'll simply melt. How melodramatic of you Dormouse, just buck up and deal with it. Figure out how to exist here or you're going to lose it.
-The Dormouse
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