Off to Neverland!

So, Dormouse, what's new in your life? Aside from the whole depressing your dad died and you're moving back home to a place and a life that you hate thing. 

That's probably what you guys have all been wondering right? Well, even if it wasn't that's what you're about to find out. I graduated from college a few days ago. Put on the cap, the gown, my honors cords and study abroad sash, and a brand new pair of high heels and marched out onto the quad of my school and graduated. It feels weird. So weird. So incredibly weird. I'm scared and happy and excited and terrified and unsure but ready for whatever the next step is.
I also turned 22 that same day. Isn't it funny how life's little coincidences work? I don't really feel older but I guess I am. Life moves on even when all you want is for it to stop! I'm getting back into Doctor Who, I'm e-mailing my boss about work, I'm making plans for when I get home. Crazy, eh? I'm just living and every day it feels a little less like my world is crumbling around me. I cry less. Is it okay to cry less? To hurt less? To learn to live with this and accept it? I don't think I'll ever get over it but maybe I can learn to accept it. Here's hoping.

-The Dormouse

They unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time

Lately it feels like all I do is make mixes. I have sad mixes, happy mixes, 90s mixes, pretty much a mix for anything you could think of. Today I made one I'm fairly proud of. So I'm obviously going to shamelessly plug it via my blog.

It's worth a listen. It has some pretty amazing covers on it. Some you've probably never even heard of before.

As for the portion of my life that isn't making mixes...things are as they tend to be. It was my father's birthday yesterday. I got drunk and made bad decisions. In case anyone was wondering how I'm dealing with my grief the answer is, as always, not well. But I'm trying to keep the pieces together. I graduate on Sunday. I'm terrified.

-The Dormouse

Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting...

Deep breath and then let's just be out with this eh? My dad died on Monday. There, I've said. I've said it for about the ten thousandth time. And really, it's helping. So much. Oh yeah, I feel super helped by saying that. Oh no wait. No, I don't. I keep saying and it keeps not feeling real. What the fuck. Let me say that one again...WHAT THE FUCK?! This is me, falling apart in real time. Hope you enjoy the show...

-The Dormouse

Fly! Of course!

So, right now I'm in this place where I can either fix things that have been broken or shrug my shoulders and move on with my life. I've shed a lot of unnecessary people this semester and it's been really good for me. I feel just the tiniest bit lighter. It feels strange to be letting people go so late in the game but that's what's going on here and it also feels really good, somehow liberating. I suddenly feel like I just don't have to take your shit anymore, any of your shit. So maybe I have been growing up? I don't know. All I know is that sometimes old friends just don't make the cut anymore and when that happens you have to let them go. Does this make me a horrible person? Should I be constantly attempting to please everyone around me at the expense of my own sanity? Is that how to get along in society? Because if it  is stop the world please, I want to get off.

-The Dormouse