I have laid myself bare. To someone new. To someone I don't know I can trust with those raw, red moments of my life. What have I done? How could I have offered up to him my most painful, intimate, frightening secrets. I so nearly opened up entirely. This is not me. I haven't been sleeping, I haven't been eating (at least nearly not as much as I should be), I feel like I'm slipping out of existence. I want sleeping pills. I want something that will put me out for the night. Just so I can rest, so I can stop thinking. But pills scare me. I'll love them too much and then what will I have made of my life? There's nothing insightful for me to say here. I'm losing it. Can someone buy me a time machine so I can go back and make everything different? I hate the way it's all turned out. I want to scream, I absolutely want to scream but I feel like no one would hear me. I'm feeling too lost, too gone. Until next time...
-The Dormouse
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